Tuesday, June 30, 2009

On missing pink. And pretty dresses.

Posted by: Kim

Once upon a time in the fall of 2005, I decided I wanted to dye my hair brunette. Jen was fully on board with this idea and offered to help. To no fault of her (although it is arguable that both of us could have been a little more hasty when considering the possible outcomes of applying very dark brown Duane Reade hair dye to blonde hair), 30 minutes or so later, the water in our shower was running purple.


Thus began my Goth Period, if only in hair. Once in a Starbucks the barista asked if my eyes were fake, so drastic was black hair to my overall appearance. I was pretty much a vampire, before they all had gold eyes instead of just really light eyes.


Anyway, 12 months and numerous visits to a stylist later and I finally had normal colored hair again without massive damage, and now am an adamant salon-goer. And I have achieved several different shades of brunette hair over the past few years, and liked it. However, it doesn't hold well and upkeep is expensive and I am saving all my money to quit life and travel the world, and so finally a few weeks ago I decided to go back.


I have sort of been regretting it ever since, because, despite the fact that blonde is in no way a first-time thing for me, I suddenly find myself convinced that I can wear no colors other than shades of blue, and can confirm in no uncertain terms that my hot pink headband with the palm trees on it seriously loses impact against blonde hair.


So every pretty dress I have encountered over the past week, of course, has been pink.


Up first, Marion Cotillard:




This is just So. Cute. Come on. It is. And it's a spinner, and I want it, and I would probably wear it three times a week including to work and Trader Joes. And I would spin. Alas, convinced it would wash me out right now.

And then we have Blake Lively:



Before someone inevitably and immediately jumps up to inform me that Blake is blonde and I am dumb/shallow/a huge bitch/recession unsympathetic/etc., I know that (she is blonde, not the other stuff). But pretty much if you googled the opposite of what I look like, all thousand feet tall of Blake Lively would probably pop up (except we both have kind of ... abundant ... hair), and so she can do magical mystical pink things I cannot. Also I don't have a spray tan. Anyway. Look how great this is! It is the pinkest thing I have ever seen! And I really like her shoes, and I would also wear this everywhere and glow in the dark and love every second of it. If it would not look absolutely ridiculous on me. Which it would. Sigh.

Btw, pink is not my favorite color. It probably really comes across that way, but I swear I type in pink and Jen in blue because in college when my mother would send us Easter baskets she always themed mine pink and Jen's blue and we found that sort of hilarious.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Why Can't People Just Be Normal?

Posted by: Jen

Jennifer: what is Dickchicken (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dickchicken/108960304776?ref=pymk#/pages/Dickchicken/108960304776)?
omg, I hate them
"it's a litmus test"
lol
a litmus test for being a tool?

Chris: they graffiti all over Williamsburg
you always see it and it's irritating
cause they obviously think they are being clever

Jennifer: but Chris, if you were cool and clever you would like it!!!
genitals + farm animals = hip and edgy

Chris: yah according to them , it's all about having a sense of humor

Jennifer: If I could roll my eyes harder I would cause permanent damage.

Friday, June 26, 2009

On The Great Outdoors...

Posted by: Kim and Jen


Jennifer: I think I am going to buy one of those traveling backpacks!
Kim: nuh-uh! really?
Jennifer: yeah, like a big one… not ginormous, but I think they are often easier to handle.
I also read that airports and train stations in Europe tend to have a lot of stairs and not escalators.
Kim: hmmm. Ok, find us backpacks and I will buy one too. We will be so cute!
Jennifer: I know! Ha, plus if we're walking to our hotel it will be easier with a backpack than a suitcase!
Kim: yeah that is true. This will be my first experience traveling in Europe where I’m not coming from London so I could just pack in a like duffel bag, or on family vacation so there was a car. So where do we buy backpacks from? These will be so clutch for GREECE, OMG. LOL!
Jennifer: yeah and wherever else we go ever -- I want to go to Italy too!
Jennifer: http://www.sonomaoutfitters.com/istar.asp?a=6&id=31625%21025
Kim: Eeeeee! Hahaha!
I am going to look SO. FUNNY. with a backpack.
Jennifer: And the bonbon dress! (http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Feature_Assortment/NewArrivals/dresses/PRDOVR~15324/15324.jsp)
Kim: I am glad you immediately imagined that too, because I went right there with the visual.
So how does this backpack work? Can I get a red one?
Jennifer: sure
Kim: where is a red one? I have no idea how to shop for this!
Jennifer: I will probably go to EMS or something… do we have those in NY?
Kim: you either have to tell me, or I will go to EMS and somehow buy whatever they say
LOL
Jennifer: yeah I don't know if we do. I know there is a campy outdoors store near Union Square though
Kim: why?
Jennifer: I don't know, some NY people like to say they are outdoorsy I guess
Kim: I am outdoorsy. Meaning I like outdoors.
Not bugs. or camping.
Here’s the thing: camping is SO DUMB.
Okay, like the things about camping I like are the water sports and nature walks and neither of those require sleeping on the dirt or bug spray, so why throw that into the mix?
Also like the only coffee option is INSTANT!!! It is so not fun.
Jennifer: I like camping but only if there are showers, and a tent with a floor.
When I used to go camping with my friends, in the morning I would get up and drive like 20 minutes to get coffee
Kim: haha excellent! Mine were all like, you have not eaten eggs until they were cooked over campfire! And I was like, lukewarm and there's a bug in it, can we go to Starbucks?!
Like I swear I am not high maintenance but.
Jennifer: I also don't really like getting dirty that much, which is why the shower is necessary… I have been to ones that don't have it and I had to go in a river after running. Oh god.
Kim: yeah, this is why I hold that 'outdoorsy' is so arbitrary; there is good and bad of it. It's the people who must convince the world they are outdoorsy by not showering and sleeping on the ground that give those of us who like to shower a bad name!
Jennifer: I also hate camping clothing because it means I wear my running clothes all the time… like, you can't wear anything good because it's not outdoorsy, so suddenly I'm wearing a sports bra 24/7
Kim: I know! And the 'cool' outdoorsy clothes are so not… like hiking boots and ugly colored fleeces and dirty pants
Jennifer: I know… I feel like a lot of people would make fun of us about this
Kim: well it's true though! Like, I’m sure the track team was not quite the same, but similar to the sailing and there were those athletes at school who were so like, here is my backpack and my hiking keychain and my steel water bottle and my Lauren Conrad braid before she did them and my no makeup and I was like, I aspire never to be that girl.
Jennifer: yeah no, most of them we hiking outdoorsy people and they were all HIKING ROCK CLIMBING YEAH and I was like, aren't you tired from running, don't you want to watch a movie?
Kim: like the second we'd get out of a boat they'd be like, let's go climb a mountain or ski!
Or shop, but for $800 fleece camping sleep pants or something absurd…
A thousand dollar watch that tells you what continent you're on. IN CASE YOU GET THAT LOST.
Jennifer: I can tell you what continent I'm on without a watch. And god help me if I ever get that lost and think a watch will save me.
Kim: Exactly! I am like, okay if I were lost in the woods in an unknown continent I am pretty much fucked. And will rely on common sense and adorability -- adorability helps in being rescued. I mean, know your strengths and weaknesses, people!!!
Jennifer: yeah I feel like at that point knowing that you stumbled into Africa won't really make a difference
Kim: I am not the type of person whose camping gear and skill would save her
So, I’d just try to be nice and hope a bear didn’t eat me, I guess.

On priorities. Or, the cynical react.

Posted by: Kim and Jen

Jennifer: So. Are you sad about Michael Jackson? Because seems like everyone in the world is distraught but me.

Jennifer: I'm like, soooo he was a creepy dude who did shady things but made good music back in the day and now he's dead. Oh well.

Kimberley: Oh, yeah, no. I mean, it is kind of like, WHOA! really?! nuts. But, i mean, I didn't know him and he didn't make music anymore, soooo i really felt no personal anything to the event.

Jennifer: Yeah. I feel nothing, I wonder if I have mental problems. But honestly I get more upset when book characters die than celebrities because I feel like I have more invested in book characters.

Kimberley: No, I agree. I mean, I actually think it's kind of awful that people get so devasted by the death of celebrities. Like it's sad that people die in general, but also, um, people die. In general. Many from far worse causes, in far worse ways, with much sadder stories.

Jennifer: Yeah you're right. people who mourn CELEBRITIES are the ones with problems
I'm going to mourn the people being beaten to death in Iran for protesting insead.


Kimberley: Yes! for real though.

Jennifer: At first I felt really callous because I didn't care at all about MJ and everyone else did.

Kimberley: That's the thing. That is happening and no one cares. But stop the presses, a famous person died! Of natural causes.

Jennifer: I do, I am rooting for the ladies, they need to stop the madness over there. He died of a drug overdose, I think. But still, that's normal. Ha.

Kimberley: Well that's the thing. If Lindsay Lohan smashed into a tree tomorrow, Hollywood would piss on itself and like, darken the sign in the hills or whatever. It's all very backwards.

Jennifer: And they'd be like, "She really WAS the next Marilyn Monroe!" When before everyone was like, "haha addict wannabe Marilyn!"

Kimberley: Exactly. I was listening to the radio this am and they were talking about MJ and two of the talkers were like, it is SO SAD and one was like, you know what though, what a creep he was. And the other two were like ZOMG!!11!!!! I JUST WANT TO REMEMBER HIM IN THRILLER DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE BABY DANGLING THING!!! And the other one was like, 'see this is what is wrong with people.' And i was like, oh I'd be his friend.

Jennifer: I mean, when you're dead isn't it a better time to talk shit because you can't hear it?
When I die I want people to say I ate puppies.


Kimberley: Ha! Ok, if you go first i promise I'll manifest that to no end.

Jennifer: Ok, what do you want me to say about you?

Kimberley: Probably that I kept an ice pick in my Chanel scarf and would stealthily stab ugly people on the subway.

Jennifer: Oh, I like it. I will be like 96 and have a flask of martini and stand up and say it at your funeral. I will also sprinkle cocaine on your casket as they lower it into the ground.